“Aunt Mimi! I have my ornament!” a little voice shrieked as she ran across the living room at Thanksgiving to hang it on the tree. My heart filled with joy. If I could find no other joy in the day, that was enough.

Traditions? Holidays? Just “NO!”.

I didn’t want to think about the holidays, much less traditions, old or new. I had already made a shift after the death of my husband. During that time, I still had “kids” at home, so putting up a tree was not optional, at least in my mind, so we pivoted. Thanks to our friends at Heartfield Florist, the tree was decorated, and the stockings hung. Well, actually, one year, not having the energy for stockings, I used boots for all the kids. That is now a sweet memory. Funny how grief and joy collide.

It never crossed my mind that I would be looking for traditions one day that would keep my child’s memory alive, but not be too heavy for the rest of my family. Who wants to be the wet blanket for the holidays?

We still don’t celebrate Christmas the same way anymore. My collection of nativities always goes out, but the tree, it stays up and lit year-round, decorated in glorious pink and turquoise. We have not had a traditional tree in many, many years. It is just too much for this momma’s heart.

A couple of years ago, I was walking through Home Goods and came across this electric blue tree. It reminded me of our Superman, Christopher. I grabbed it, took it home, put it up, and there a new tradition began. That tree stays up and is lit year-round too. Now don’t judge…

Our Superman Tree in memory of Christopher

That Christmas, I asked each of my daughters-in-love and my niece to have the grandchildren/great niece pick out an ornament and bring it to put on Christopher’s tree. It is so fun to watch their faces light up when they show me what ornament they picked out that year. We put each child’s name and year on it and have a few minutes at our Christmas gathering where the children take turns putting their ornament on the tree. Those that can’t make it, ship me their ornament to add to the tree. This year Jackson, Christopher’s son, and I picked out Big Foot ornaments via FaceTime while I was in Washington State. These ornaments will be given back to each child when they have their first tree as a way to carry forward and honor the memory of Christopher for years to come.

This tradition quickly became the highlight of Christmas Day for me. While grief and joy still collide during the holidays, there is a space we have figured out as a family, held just for the one who ran ahead of us to heaven. My precious son, dad, brother, uncle, and friend… Christopher Parrish. You are loved and never forgotten.

Do you have a tradition you hold dear to remember your child during the holidays? Please share it with us. It may be just what another family needs to find space for their child in their holiday season this year.

Much love,

Chrissy

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