Muffin Top

Ok girls…so today I am struggling. 

I had an unbelievably awesome day.  We ran about 5 miles. I took a trip around the lake, went to some art galleries and had a fabulous dinner of sword fish. I know what you are thinking!!  All that and she must look fabulous. But… here I am… struggling.  Do you struggle too?

I am trying to have some grace for myself.  Reality is I lost a husband, then I lost my child. I endured a three-year lawsuit.   I lost a desire to live and a desire to get out of bed.  I lost a desire to move.  It is the reality of loss.

I am convinced our bodies go into fight or flight mode…so here I am…feeling like a muffin top.  A muffin I had never met before the death of my son has appeared.  I didn’t see it for three years of mourning, then one day… I stood up from his grave and guess what I found… a momma who’s heart was still broken with a plus size waist.  

My thyroid gave way from the stress and then that loaf of sour dough found a home.  I struggle when I go to buy clothes, but…I love clothes.   I have settled for shoes because I am convinced that no matter what size my clothes are, my shoes will always fit and look cute.  I chant the mantra…You are created in God’s image, but then I look in the mirror and I think…oh Lord how can you love this.  

I want to love this.  I want to embrace this…. until I see the look.  You know, that look you gave me when I walked in the room.  It is that look like…can you believe...?  You whisper it to your friends and think I don’t see it, but I do. 

So as I sit here and speak these words over myself. You are created in the image of God. You are a chosen priesthood. You were seen before you were formed.. Christ died on the cross for your muffin top. Let me speak these words over you too sweet friend.

Don’t let the devil steal your joy in things that are superficial. One day you will receive that new glorious body and won’t have to worry about those looks or that muffin top any more!

In Jesus Name. Amen.